Day 10

Still busy and going strong!!! I went off sugar for a couple days but today I craved it again so I let myself have some penny candy. This sugar addiction thing is more complex than I thought!! That and that I got my period a few days ago which is usually the only time I crave candy. I rarely eat or crave sweets so it just goes to show you how much sugar even if it’s dry Chardonnay, alcohol gives you. Lame….

So, I’m still seeing the nice nerdy boyfriend but not since last Friday because he suffers from depression and had a relapse since we saw each other…so my gf and I staked out his mom’s condo (where he’s been staying) to make sure he’s not fibbing. We didn’t see him…so our fifth date tomorrow is going to a self help workshop that helps you get over your ex!!! I hope my smartphone doesn’t direct me to my ex-boyfriend’s house again!!! Yikes.

argh sobriety…but hanging in there. I’ve slept right through the night for nine days!! Normally I wake up at 2-4 am every single night…

Day 7

I skipped a few days here. Got busy. Still sober.

Boyfriend forgave and is willing to keep trying. We had an amazing sober night together drinking tea, and eating chips and just talking. Love making is so much better sober. Orgasms come much faster, and the feelings of passion and chemistry are real.

I think part of alcohol addiction has something to do with fearing that deep and hidden innermost part of ourselves, and exposing it to others.

Alcohol is a mask.

I am so grateful that I can prove to him that I can be sober and be awesome. I know we only met a month ago, and this is new. It might not be “the” relationship. But at least I can give my best sober self, and if it still doesn’t work out, at least I can’t blame my drunkenness….I truly believe that I deserve to give myself that chance after five years of being divorced- initially having gone crazy- and then meeting unavailable men who themselves suffer from alcohol addiction, I am ready to be that positive person that I was five years ago, but who I ran away from because I was suffering from the emotional throws of a divorce…

I have been eating a ton of candy this week, and although it has helped to deter me from drinking, it has made me feel kind of crappy, so today is the first day that I woke up feeling really energized and positive, so I am going to scrap the sugar today.

I am so proud of myself. Thanks to hypnotherapy, I quit smoking six months ago (I had quit for 12 years, and then started again when I got divorced), and now drinking (I had quit for five years before my divorce too)…I really do not believe that sugar needs to remain in place as a crutch. I think it helps for the first week, as the alcohol sugar addiction is wearing off, but I think the sooner you can curb the sugar the better. It is giving me zits!!!

Day 3

Today was a bit harder than the last two. I felt a bit dizzy and frantic so I ate a lot of jelly beans and black licorice which helped ease sugar cravings but made me feel gross!

I am still determined though…

havent heard from the boyfriend in terms of whether he wants to forgive me and give me another chance…I asked if he’d like to try getting to know me sober since nearly (not all) every date has involved alcohol…still no word:(

Day two

I slept well last night. I dreamed that I was being offered drinks by people and was so afraid I was going to accept them, I woke up feeling guilty.

Not being hungover, I was able to accomplish so much today, like taking down the tree and all of the decorations, clean, do a big shop, go to the gym, and now sit with the kids to watch a show!

i have candy and non-alcoholic drinks to help in case I have cravings….

 

 

Day one

What an embarrassing night last night. I went out for NYE and got so drunk, my new lovely sweet and normal boyfriend broke up with me today. It was not my intention to get so smashed and I’d been looking forward to this event for weeks. My kids sensed my sadness so I confessed to them that I’d made a big mistake and drank too much and acted like a fool, embarrassing my boyfriend. They sighed. It was a mistake mom. You apologized and he should forgive you. “No….it is more than that kids. I have a disease that makes me keep drinking when I should stop. I need to quit this New Year. Will you help me?” We all hugged and promised to support and love each other this year. ❤️